you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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