Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
