I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
