awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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