Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize