yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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