oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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