My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
