my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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