when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize