love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
