please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
We need to feng shui this bitch.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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