we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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