she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm getting married
To pizza
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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