hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
