the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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