Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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