You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
