Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
