I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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