I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize