She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
