i wish my penis had a tongue
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
