You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
