I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So vagazzling was a success
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
