the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
sex in a hospital.. check
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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