Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
