I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize