did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
