Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Four minutes until I can fart!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
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