call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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