I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
