i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
