Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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