I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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