Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
