put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
