I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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