Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
