is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
