apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
