just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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