They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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