If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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