Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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