Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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