oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
