This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
