So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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