puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
