you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize