if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
