i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
