Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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