covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
