D3 body, D1 cock
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
