What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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