i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
