pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize