He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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