belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
