walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize