Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
