she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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