You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
