yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
