This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
