we should wear snuggies to the strip club
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
