we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
