yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
