i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
