can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
