we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
